Saturday, March 12, 2011

What he says and what he means

An average man is far less verbal than a woman. A man- woman conversation often gets stale due to the difference in the method of communication between them. Woman tries to build up the relationship by emotional and elaborate talk whereas man uses condensed expressions to convey his ideas.

Women often find it difficult to understand whether the man is complimenting her or making negative remarks at her through the short expressions. There are chances of misunderstanding the man's talk, which will affect the relationship at a later stage. Let us assume the casual conversation between a man and a woman:

She: Did you find your missing 'office file'?
He: I can't find it.

Here he implies the idea that he has finished the search for the 'missing office file'. He is not going to search for it any more. He indirectly asks her to find out the missing file for him. If she does not understand the instruction he is about to blame her for not helping him in the search.

She: Is there any really important documents inside the file?
He: It's a guy thing.

He is attributing immense value to the documents. He makes it clear to her that the documents of the file are above her logical comprehension since it is the work of a man.

She: Here is your file inside the drawer.
He: That's great. Any way I do help around your household duties.

Here he does not want to reveal his disappointment over the fact that she could find the file more easily than him. He wants to assert that he is not indebted to her since he also helps her at many instances.

She: I'll prepare the dinner now
He:Oh! Can I help with dinner?
This is a direct blame at her. He is really wondering what she was doing all this time and why the dinner is not ready yet. She may fail to understand this accuse and does not give the explanation.

She: Yesterday I met Mrs. Wilson at the store.
He: Oh! She is one of those feminists
Here also he indicates a clear disapproval. He despises her friendship with Mrs. Wilson. He has a negative opinion about feminists. Moreover he may be calling Mrs. Wilson a feminist due to the reason that she might have failed to make coffee for her husband amidst household chores.

She: Tell me about your new project then.
He: It would take too long to explain.

His statement might imply two things here. First he thinks that she would not understand the brilliant ideas put forward by him. Secondly he himself may not be sure about the plans of the new project. It is better she understands the inner meaning of what he says than to persist him for details.

She: Now let me tell you about my new project (elaborate explanation...)
He: That's interesting, dear
Here he is making a clear remark that he hasn't listened to even a single word of hers. He is wondering that she is still talking. This interruption is a clear sign for the woman to stop her monologue, if she can understand what the man really says.

She: I've to go away for one month for my new project
He: I'll miss you dear (followed by a soft sigh)

Here he really means what he tells. The soft sigh indicates his inability to express the deep emotions that he feels inside him.

A woman can understand the meaning of what her man says if she is careful about small details. She must learn to read in between lines to understand what her man really means.

If women can understand the language of men, she would realize that men convey a lot through short talk as against her elaborate talks.

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