Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Commitment and Men

'I'll do anything for love but I won't do that,' have you heard this line before? Yes you may have, for you might have sung along with to the tunes of the Meatloaf hit. But in reality we are faced with many issues of lack of commitment from our loved one. They would do anything for us other than stability. Why do some of them don't offer that. New age films like Salaam Namaste have brought to light several aspects like fear of commitment from love partners .We do find instances of characters not just in films like Runaway Bride but also in English literature like the famous Fitzwilliam Darcy of Jane Austen's Pride And Prejudice.

Such people are adventurous, idealistic ,romantic and extremely fickle minded. They want everything in their love life to be like a superficial Kodak moment. They are fire like in nature, they ignite you passionately but when water falls in course of time, they turn into ashes. They personify the notion 'nothing is permanent but change.'

There are many people in who shy away from commitment. Statistics shows that men fear commitment more than women. Such commitment phobes have false expectations in life and expect marriage to be a perfect institution devoid of any misunderstandings or failings not just on the part their lovers but also on circumstances which are beyond their control. It is a universal fact of marriage that it is not built in heaven , People who fear commitment believe that marriage may not be their answer to happiness in life as they feel that they are not perfect individuals. No one disagrees with them . However, due to their unrealistic expectations from life and feelings of self -worthlessness makes them fear commitments as they may not be in a position to count on people.

'I Do' is a phrase which you may never have the privilege of hearing as he may appear clingy at first and flighty during his farewell to you. These dream chasers have nothing to offer to consolidate your future with him or her .However, counseling can work best for commitment phobes.

Commitment in a worthy relationship always offers stability in one's life. A feeling of knowing that someone special is there for you makes life worth living. Having reasonable expectations from you lover and clarifying issues which concern not just one's past but also one's choices and future is essential for a healthy and honest relationship .A commitment of love makes one rich and the love ideal is summed up by Oscar Wilde who rhetorically questioned,' Who ,being loved is poor?'

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