Can you turn a booty call into a boyfriend?

A booty call is someone you invite over, or who invites you over, (usually late at night) for the sole purpose of having sex. The initial thought of the person making the call is no-strings fun, very casual, and basically assumes that both parties are mature enough to accept the ‘date’ for what it is. For most women, the fact that the guy is willing to come over just for the purpose of using and being used is not a good indication of relationship material. If you’re making a true booty call you usually don’t know the person much beyond their ability in bed – and having sexual prowess does not always equal relationship ability. Start...

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Facebook has some explaining to do

Facebook, Twitter and the like have a lot to answer for There I was, happily trundling along through life, giving barely a passing thought to people that I had not seen or heard of for over twenty years, and then I gave in and joined the Facebook brigade..... ... and it was fun to be on Facebook It can be enormous fun catching up with those from your past. I’ve attended my 28th year high school reunion, organized entirely through Facebook, spoken to friends that I last saw in their school uniforms, shared photo albums with family overseas and followed their status updates with glee. I've also swopped scandal stories and received sad news, congratulated some and commiserated with others. And then there’s the ex boyfriend contingent ... Admittedly I’ve been fairly lucky in my...

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Wanted: Men with money, power and fame

Women are often attracted to men because of their wealth, fame and power, but is there more to this phenomenon than meets the eye? Most people assume that women are attracted to men with money, power and fame because of those three attributes and not because of the man himself. While there are, no doubt, some women who are primarily interested in those elements, there may be a more fundamental, primeval motivation for women seeking out these types of men. Survival of the fittest? This reason could very well be related to Darwin’s ‘survival of the fittest’ theory. In the animal kingdom, it’s usually the strongest, fastest and most powerful males...

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The act of forgiveness

Most people have heard the old adage ‘to err is human, to forgive divine’. We know that it’s best if we’re able to forgive some of life’s little digs from others, but sometimes it just isn’t easy to do this. Tell the other person how they made you feel Often the easiest way to forgive someone is to sit down and tell them how you feel. If the person you’re struggling to forgive is someone important to you, whom you want to keep in your life, the best option is to sit down with them and simply let them know what they did that hurt you and how it’s impacted you. Try to use non-threatening words and body language, and don’t accuse them of hurting...

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Privacy is a personal choice

There is much written and said these days about privacy. With the development of technology and the phenomenon of online social networking, we are able to expose ourselves and our deepest, darkest thoughts to all and sundry - if we choose. Personal choice: don't blame Facebook or Twitter This is true and it is of concern, particularly when it involves youngsters, but are we not overlooking the small matter of personal choice?  No-one is making anyone put their date of birth and relationship status on their Facebook page.  If you do not want to announce your new-found love to the world you can choose to keep it private. Nor is anyone...

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Nine words women use - decoded

We decode these words women use - really useful to partners who want to avoid (further) conflict in their relationships... (1) Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. (2) Five minutes If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. (3) Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. (4) Go ahead This is a dare, not permission....

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Toxic relationships: how to recognise one and remove yourself

It is far too easy to become enmeshed in a toxic relationship … whether it’s a romantic or work relationship or a friendship. Many people find themselves on the wrong end of an extremely unhealthy relationship and are either too ashamed or too frightened to do anything about it.  The important thing to remember is that you are not alone and you do not have to tolerate this kind of behaviour. How to recognise a toxic relationship The first step to resolving the problem is to recognise it. Toxic relationships generally stem from one participant being dominant and controlling. A controlling personality will stoop to any means necessary to...

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PDA: How much is too much?

Public displays of affection can be fun and exciting, but where should you draw the line? Almost all of us have indulged in public displays of affection (PDA) at some point in time - from the very young to the very old. It can be a fun and exciting part of any relationship - effectively declaring your feelings for your partner in front of the whole world. However, to what extent are these little displays of love and affection endearing, and when does it just become way too much information for everyone else? (Hint: the couple in the picture are probably going overboard!) What is okay Some examples of public displays of affection are perfectly...

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From innocent friendship to affair

You or your partner's new friendship with someone of the opposite sex may be perfectly harmless, but when partners start sharing frustrations, hopes and dreams with the new friend instead of you, it can lead to an affair. I'm reading Committed, the sequel to Eat, Pray, Lovewhich author Elizabeth Gilbert describes as being about "a sceptic making peace with marriage". Faced with the prospect of remarrying - after a painful divorce left her vowing never to say "I do" again - she researches marriage in different cultures, as well as what eminent psychologists have uncovered in their research on the topic. She unearthed some interesting...

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How many frogs must we kiss?

Is there really such a thing as a 'decent, normal' man? I would like to know how many 'frogs' (read: slimy/ugly/silly men) a woman has to date / kiss before finding a decent man? I am starting to think that even the decent ones end up faulty at some stage – almost like they always had some 'inner frog' qualities that they managed to hide really well until one day they just 'leapt' out into the open. Perhaps a case of frog dressed as man? I have a friend who dated a guy who was all wine, roses and rainbows ... until he got what he wanted (a couple of times) and then as if by magic he, Mr. Wonderful, was turned into the proverbial frog...

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How secrets can make you ill

Keeping secrets from your partner doesn't just make you untrustworthy, it can also make you sick... We all have secrets. Some are simple, some are serious, and some are dangerous. The fact is that most of us have something to hide from each other. Is it okay to keep secrets? It is good for you? Experts do not think so… Secrets create distance in relationships When you keep a secret from your partner, you are aware that you are not being totally honest with him. It makes you feel a little distant and creates a tiny rift in your relationship. As your secrets grow, the rift keeps growing. So, it is never a good idea to keep a secret from your...

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Keeping love alive

How can you prevent romance from fading in your relationship? Here is some advice for keeping love alive through difficult times... Falling in love is easy. Staying in love, however, is hard. While going through a tough time, many couples turn bitter and resentful and find it difficult to stay together. This brings us to the question – how to keep love alive during difficult times?  The right perception Think of your marriage as a plant that needs to be carefully nurtured. A neglected or overlooked marriage is bound to fail. So, both of you need to work together to make sure your relationship remains a source of love, affection, and...

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Men, women and narcissism

At what point does self belief stop being healthy and turn into abuse? We are told from a very early age that we are the best creatures on earth and that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to. The unfortunate few who are told otherwise when they are small, of course turn into psychopaths or accountants. But for some of us, as we grow older, this self belief fades in the wake of the trials and tribulations that life throws at us. A great number of people walk among us with low self confidence, shyness and a lack of the self belief they once had as a child. For most people it would be more fun to be set alight than to go to a job interview, or start a conversation with a stranger. It’s not like that for everyone though Have you ever met someone who had a grandiose sense of self-importance,...

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Does he fancy me? Translating body language

Body language is the most important indicator of how a man feels about you. Here’s how to translate his body language... Picture the scene. You and your friends are having a ladies’ night at a popular night spot. You notice an attractive man across the room and his eyes pass over your side of the room, eventually meeting your gaze. How do you know if he's flirting with you? Statistics show that a mere 7% of true communication is verbal 38% depends on your voice and tone and 55% depends on your body language. Learn to identify the signals the body unconsciously gives off and read any situation you find yourself in. What his face reveals -...

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The new age of relationships

What does having hundreds of virtual 'friends' mean for your real relationships? If you were told ten years ago that you will go to bed at night and know exactly what all your friends did on that day without physically calling them, or that you will wake up in the morning and read what other people are having for breakfast, you surely would have laughed at them.  If they had told you that you will have the ability to know where your friends and others are without them telling you, you probably would’ve called them crazy. But reality has changed. No longer do you need physical contact to be in contact. No longer do you need to pick up...

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Verbal abuse: why you need to get out!

What’s the difference between verbal and physical abuse? There is no difference. We constantly hear about counselling and protection centres available for physically abused people, but not much mention is given publically about verbal abuse.   Don’t let anyone control you The basic definition of verbal abuse is the use of language for the purposes of control by someone with a low regard for him or herself. The operative word here is control.   No relationship will be a good one if one person wants or has control!  If you stay in the relationship and let that person control you, you will become compliant. The abuse...

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How worthy do you feel?

Women nowadays are very strong and independent. We compete in a 'man’s world' and still strive to balance our work with a warm and well run home. We take care of the kids, cook the dinner and a lot of us still do the daily chores of cleaning and maintaining the house.  So after we’ve come back from a long day at the office, cleaned and fed the kids and hubbie, washed the dishes, put in the laundry is it any small wonder that we don’t feel like having sex? Are you taken for granted? In actual fact, most women are very capable of doing all these things and then still making themselves sexy for their man afterwards, but a lot don’t want to.  Why should women be constantly giving, without being appreciated? If it’s an expectation to put out for your man at the end of the night when...

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Do soul mates really exist?

If time is infinite, do you really want some people to be there for all of it? Someone once asked me that very same question and I told her, because she asked me on a Tuesday, that I am going to give her my cynical answer and that would be, no I don’t. We are human beings, which means we are gregarious by nature We love the company of others and we are wary of loners. We rightfully think that people who enjoy isolation are weird, that they have a large knife collection at home, will one day snap, come to work and shoot their co-workers in the face. From an early age we have an inborn urge to meet people and socialise. Whether this is to make...

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Relax...and keep the spark alive

Women get so caught up with everyday demands - from our jobs, to the kids, to household chores, to the bills and what’s for dinner – that we actually forget to relax and have fun! Be spontaneous As a relationship gets more serious and longer down the line, we tend to lose our spontaneity and overlook the fun things that brought us and our partner together. We need to make an effort to slow down, and keep up that sex appeal so that the spark doesn’t fade. Skip the make-up We also get caught up with fashion, product and general body image, and most of us are almost conditioned into wanting to, and having to, look good all the time.  Any...

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