We're here to tell you that you can heal. No matter how
troubling your breakup was, you can feel better, even happy,
again.
It all starts with a choice and a shift.
We know that sounds like we're minimizing your pain but
believe us when we say that that's not the case.
We know how painful a break up can be and we also
know that it doesn't feel like a choice--but if you will
bear with us, we'll explain.
Make the choice to heal.
troubling your breakup was, you can feel better, even happy,
again.
It all starts with a choice and a shift.
We know that sounds like we're minimizing your pain but
believe us when we say that that's not the case.
We know how painful a break up can be and we also
know that it doesn't feel like a choice--but if you will
bear with us, we'll explain.
Make the choice to heal.
As simplistic as it may sound, when you make a deliberate
decision to turn toward healing, you can often start feeling
better quicker than you thought possible.
Sometimes, we cling to our painful thoughts and memories
around the breakup because we are afraid that if we let go
of the agony, we will negate any chance there might be
(especially in our minds) of reuniting.
On some level you might want nothing more than to just go
back to the way things were...even if you know that breaking
up was for the best--and your partner may have moved on
anyway.
It is understandable that you might feel this way.
We encourage you to ask yourself this: "Is carrying around
the pain and hurt serving you?"
If it isn't, maybe it's time to make the choice to heal.
You could write down on a piece of paper an affirmative
statement of your intention to heal.
For example, you might write:
"I am ready to feel better and once again turn toward
happiness."
Make a shift.
Congratulations on making the decision to heal your broken
heart. (*If you still can't make such a choice, be patient
with yourself and keep reading this.)
In order to put your healing into full motion, it's time to
make a shift.
When you make a shift in the way that you think about
yourself, your ex and the relationship that ended, you can
begin to move toward improvement.
**One powerful way to make a shift toward healing is to
become an observer to your thoughts and beliefs.
Let's face it.
When you think to yourself something like, "I will never
find love again," it is your thought that is causing you
fear and sadness, not necessarily the reality of your life.
After all, you simply can't know what the future holds for
you.
Get into the habit of paying attention to what you are
thinking and believing.
When a particular thought becomes fixed in your mind,
question that thought or belief the way that someone outside
your situation might do.
You could start out by asking yourself, "Do I know ________
to be absolutely true?"
Many times, realizing that what you are believing is not
necessarily accurate or true can help loosen the grip that
the painful thought seems to have over you.
**Another way to make a shift toward healing is to broaden
your view of your own life.
For many people, the pain of a broken heart can eclipse
everything else going on in life.
Without being judgmental of yourself, start to look around
at the other people and things in your everyday world.
Are there friends or family members who you could devote
more time to? Perhaps there are projects at home, work or
related to a hobby that you haven't attended to lately.
What is already present in your life that you couldn't
previously see because you were so focused in on the
breakup?
Be gentle with yourself and don't force things. But, begin
to look up from your intense feelings and see what you see.
Follow your heart and your interests and expand what you are
focused upon.
We aren't for one minute suggesting that you should stuff
down the sadness, grief or anger that you might be feeling
about the breakup.
Instead, we are urging you to feel what you are feeling and
then bring yourself back to the people, places and things
that are waiting for you right here and now.
decision to turn toward healing, you can often start feeling
better quicker than you thought possible.
Sometimes, we cling to our painful thoughts and memories
around the breakup because we are afraid that if we let go
of the agony, we will negate any chance there might be
(especially in our minds) of reuniting.
On some level you might want nothing more than to just go
back to the way things were...even if you know that breaking
up was for the best--and your partner may have moved on
anyway.
It is understandable that you might feel this way.
We encourage you to ask yourself this: "Is carrying around
the pain and hurt serving you?"
If it isn't, maybe it's time to make the choice to heal.
You could write down on a piece of paper an affirmative
statement of your intention to heal.
For example, you might write:
"I am ready to feel better and once again turn toward
happiness."
Make a shift.
Congratulations on making the decision to heal your broken
heart. (*If you still can't make such a choice, be patient
with yourself and keep reading this.)
In order to put your healing into full motion, it's time to
make a shift.
When you make a shift in the way that you think about
yourself, your ex and the relationship that ended, you can
begin to move toward improvement.
**One powerful way to make a shift toward healing is to
become an observer to your thoughts and beliefs.
Let's face it.
When you think to yourself something like, "I will never
find love again," it is your thought that is causing you
fear and sadness, not necessarily the reality of your life.
After all, you simply can't know what the future holds for
you.
Get into the habit of paying attention to what you are
thinking and believing.
When a particular thought becomes fixed in your mind,
question that thought or belief the way that someone outside
your situation might do.
You could start out by asking yourself, "Do I know ________
to be absolutely true?"
Many times, realizing that what you are believing is not
necessarily accurate or true can help loosen the grip that
the painful thought seems to have over you.
**Another way to make a shift toward healing is to broaden
your view of your own life.
For many people, the pain of a broken heart can eclipse
everything else going on in life.
Without being judgmental of yourself, start to look around
at the other people and things in your everyday world.
Are there friends or family members who you could devote
more time to? Perhaps there are projects at home, work or
related to a hobby that you haven't attended to lately.
What is already present in your life that you couldn't
previously see because you were so focused in on the
breakup?
Be gentle with yourself and don't force things. But, begin
to look up from your intense feelings and see what you see.
Follow your heart and your interests and expand what you are
focused upon.
We aren't for one minute suggesting that you should stuff
down the sadness, grief or anger that you might be feeling
about the breakup.
Instead, we are urging you to feel what you are feeling and
then bring yourself back to the people, places and things
that are waiting for you right here and now.
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