Measure Your True Love

The word 'Love' is life's greatest gift and treasure to keep one's life going....
Each person is in constant search for true love. You and me are in thirst of love. Some are fortunate to experience that true love from birth. Others take time to receive that love.

True love is patient, honest, caring, kind and does not expect anything in return. It is selfless and forgiving, celebrating of what is right,sharing, believing each other and this love never ends. It is also desire to be intimate both physically and emotionally...Love is friendship, companionship and more.

Love makes you express yourself both negative and positive outlooks. It allows you to be transparent in all your desires, wants and aspirations. So you can be an open book to your partner. You can even check it out by yourself how far is your relationship with each other.When both are opened there will be no barriers in partnership. True love is faithful and loyal. This is something not overbearing but supporting life of each other. The time you spent with your partner is another precious gift that contribute the creation of true love. This brings you a perfect partner.

So can you measure the weight of true love for her or him?

If you have not reached that ladder, start now as it is never too late for anything to begin anew. Instead it is a welcome step to create a better living and understanding of each other.

When you really start to measure true love, you will really see around the dark spots, with number of negative aspects which is a hindrance to perfect relationship. It is by evaluating that will enhance ideal partners and effective result of the two and family as well. With true love children as well, will come up with morals and values in their lives, giving the fragrance of love and care to their friends around. 

Reflect over it, and start your life with good will to achieve that love for undying relationship. With your attainment of true love you even contribute your love to the world by setting a perfect example of love to your neighbour and world at large.

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StepsTo Make Your Partner Feel Special

Expressing love to a spouse is important for all couples, no matter how long they've been married. For newly wed couples, it is more significant as love is the basic tool of foundation for a fruitful marriage life. Becoming comfortable with one another can lead the partners to express their intimate relationships. There is a saying 'In every good thing, disadvantage follows'. In the same way the good partners will face hurdles and pains which is a part of life. But those pains can be erased through proper dialogue between the two, by understanding each others short comings. So in order to avoid alienating or hurting your spouse, here are some few steps to express your love for your spouse.

1. Firstly, cook the favourite food of your spouse. Let him know that you made it to make him feel loved and appreciated. This is one of the small and unselfish acts that can show to your spouse how much you love him.

2. Go a place he likes. If there's some place your spouse has been wanting to go, make sure that you take him there. Be at best to make him enjoyable and memorable.

3. Ask your spouse what words or actions make him feel loved. Then say or do those things. If you struggle to figure out what makes your spouse's love clock tick, just ask him. Your spouse will be pleased at the simple act that you're making an effort to show your love

4. Appreciate your spouse infront of others. This is because public praise can have the benefit of enhancing your spouse's self-confidence as you let others know your love for him. This is similar to the effect of the public declaration of your love that you made on your wedding day.

5. Look at your spouse when he addresses you. This is a way of knowing that he loves you and you understand the depth of his love. In case you're watching a movie, playing a video game or reading a book pause it or put the book down when he calls you and give him your full attention to whatever he says.

If you follow these steps, your partner will feel special, loved, and appreciate your selfless love for him.

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Your Man Maybe Cheating On You If...

It doesn't have to be that your relationship is on the rocks for your man to cheat to you. There have been many cases where men have cheated on their wives, their girlfriends and so forth, and we result in getting hurt. Men today fancy different things in life, some treat women like gadgets , thinking they can get a new model every time they visit a gizmo mall. 

Well, women its time for you to wake up and be the 'spy', if you notice a number of these strange attitudes your man has been up to lately then he may be cheating on you.

1. The first thing is staying out late. He will say that he has to do over time work, once in a way it could be true but not all the time. This usually happens to a lot of women , who have a live in relationship.
2. Breaking dates on a regular basis , can also be a hint to you if he is seeing another woman on the sly.
3. Heading directly to the shower, before hugging or kissing you. He may pass off the saying that he's sweaty and dirty, but actually he doesn't want you to get the smell of her.
4. Heading to other rooms in the house to answer or to make a call, even though its pin drop silence to where you are sitting. This is only because he doesn't want you to hear the conversation he is having with the other woman.
5. All emergency or security calls that are pretty frequent in the late hours of the night. Random calls like these never occur to men who don't cheat on their partners.
6. All the days are gone when he used to be the sweet, thoughtful and a considerate listener, but since of late he has become disinterested and mean to you in possibly the most simplest ways. Fights spring up for the minute things that your'll want to talk about and all of a sudden you feel there is no understanding and compromising between the two of you.
7. He now bores you, his absence you feel is most preferred rather than him sitting around not glancing and speaking to you in the most sweetest words.
8. He with holds all the information, there is no sharing any more and look out for the most famous word,” I Don't Know”, whenever asked about something. He has become more guarded about his life.

However, by these tips to find out your man is a cheater or not is a little bit difficult and even more so is to find him guilty and lost in words to answer your questions when asked. Although these signs are not enough to implicate that he is having an affair with someone else, it will surely open your eyes that he is not interested in you anymore and probably will call it quits sooner than you think.

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Six common myths about men

Do you think you really know what goes on in a man’s head? Chances are you're way off base. Here's what they don't want you to know...

Men are from Mars and women are from Venus right? This means when a guy is quiet, he is in his cave contemplating string theory and when he is cheery he is hunting for females, right? Right?

Myth #1: All men know everything there is to know about sports

Wrong! Maybe in 1980 when Naas was still king and rugby was made up of about 15 rules he might have known them all, but lately men are more interested in the competitiveness of it all.

Rules change and seem to multiply every season, who can honestly keep up?

Ask a man to explain to you what a nutmeg is in soccer or to name the 10 ways of getting out in cricket and I am sure he will change the subject to something like submarines instead.

Myth #2: Men are handy and can fix stuff

This may have been true MacGyver was on television and all men tried to emulate his prowess. These days however, I bet you that for every problem, he knows a guy who can fix it.

He might even have so many guys on standby that he actually refers to them all as “the guy” just to avoid confusion.

Don’t get me wrong, you still get men who know how to wire a plug, or fix an aircraft carrier, but of course these are men who are also known as “the guy”.

Myth #3: Men are not emotional

A website on marriage counselling says that men are probably more emotional than women. Unlike femininity though, masculinity does not permit emoting on a regular basis. So men are like Victorian novels, placid on the outside, but concealing a deep emotional life within.

Myth #4: Men think about sex every four minutes

Or every seven seconds, as some theories state. This myth must have been started by men. Only we have such big egos and libidos that we think something like this is even possible. Remember that men cannot multitask, so if this were true, planes would fall out of the sky and ships would sail down Church Street on a regular basis.

Besides, when a man reaches his midlife crisis, his human screensaver of fornicating gets replaced by the Grim Reaper.

That is why men buy fast cars or bikes when they reach 40. It’s not to fulfill a lifelong dream, it’s because they want to go through the pearly gates in a fireball, not with pipes stuck up their nose.

Myth #5: Guys do not like to communicate

Men actually love to talk. Have you ever asked a man to explain something to you? You can’t get him to shut up again.

But men also censor themselves according to how they think women will react to something personal or profound, so in many cases we just don’t bother. If a man is interesting and you can get him to open up, you might just be in for a revealing surprise.

Myth #6: Men cannot show love and are afraid of it

Men crave love just as much as women do and I would even go so far as to say that men are more romantic than women.

Before you throw your virtual keyboard at me, let me say it was confirmed by Dr Terri Orbuch, a social psychologist with 24 years’ experience.

In fact, men fall in love quicker, they are more idealistic about love and they suffer more from a break-up.

If you need more proof, have a look at some wonderful monuments men have created over the years to show their love, the Taj Mahal in India, the Eleanor Crosses in England and even the love of a mistress was honoured with the Petit Trianon in France by Louis XV.

Truth be told, most men have a romantic side and most are not afraid of commitment or even showing their feelings, it might just need to be unlocked first, somehow.

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Is your cellphone password an issue in your relationship?

This is a relay of a problem I once had to help a friend through, name will be anonymous>>>> her words......

We, like many couples, started off well enough, and as the honeymoon stage passed, things got a bit more serious. 

It was inevitable that one of us would start asking questions about the phone, and the secured password, which was always on, without fail. 

I for one, had a very good explanation for this action. My touch screen phone tends to call people randomly when it moves around in my handbag, so to prevent that, I activated my password, and that was it.

For the sake of peace, it was decided that my password would be deactivated

When my partner started getting suspicious about this story of mine, I knew that another issue was surfacing. Its clear that when you or your partner are not comfortable with cellphone passwords, it’s a definite indication of trust issues within the relationship.

For the sake of peace, it was decided that my password would be deactivated, so that he was at liberty to access my phone as he pleases, and I on the other hand, was not to show any level of interest in his phone.

It may sound crazy, but this is how many couples deal with the password saga

Some couples are free enough to have access to each other’s phones, as they feel they have nothing to hide. However, the majority of couples operate on the ‘lets stay away from each other’s phones’ method. 

The sad truth is that this method has very little to do with respecting each other’s privacy, and more to do with the fact that there is a great deal of mistrust between the two. 

Why on earth would it be okay for a couple not to have rights to each other's phones when transparency is a dominant value between the two?

Two wrongs don’t make a right

It was when I was questioned about the phone calls and messages I receive from my male friends that I realized this password issue had taken another turn. I activated my password as a reaction; he was going a bit too far, and I would put a stop to it. But the issue only became worse. 

In my opinion, the whole point of activating one's password, from a male perspective, is to keep you out of his phone. I’ll repeat it. Men activate passwords to keep you out of their phones! 

It’s also safe to say that women, in most cases, might do it for the same reason. 

Unless she is the cheating type, who in that case, would ensure she deletes every suspicious message she gets, but still, keep her phone unlocked. She would therefore still be defined as innocent.

When a partner notices that you have a password on your phone, they might conclude that you have something to hide. And this is why trust will eventually become a questionable value between the couple.

Here are a few points on how to build the 'password' trust between you and your partner:

1.    Always be open and honest with your partner, especially when you honestly have nothing to hide. When you have nothing to hide, avoid activating the password on your phone.

2.    If you have already activated the password and he seems okay with it, or does not mind at all, then by all means, go ahead.

3.    If he does mind you having a password on your phone, and has made this clear enough, deactivate it. He will then see that you have nothing to hide. You don’t want to tackle him on this one unless you are prepared to deal with a nosey, insecure man for as long as you have that password.

4.    If your partner has activated his password, don't make it an issue. Avoid nagging about it, because this leads a man to rebel, and even if he understands your point, he will not listen to a nagging woman.

5.    Show less interest in his phone, not for his sake, but for your own sake. The moment your insecurities get away with you, they are most likely not going to end, and will just get worse.

6.    Ever heard the saying “if you are looking for something, you will eventually find it”. Snooping is the worst thing you could do. Truth is, you are most likely to find something that makes you unhappy if you keep looking for it. Another fact: most women can’t handle that truth. You are doing yourself a favour.

7.    Learn to trust yourself. That way, trust will flow naturally from you, and he will sense that.

8.    Show less interest in his phone, and make it clear to him that you do not care for it. That way, he will see that his attempt to keep hiding his phone or his information from you is futile. Besides, you have better things to focus on than his phone.

9.    Remember that trusting yourself and your partner by keeping away from his phone is not turning a blind eye. It's a display of confidence in yourself.

10.    Lastly, once a man recognizes that you are now confident in yourself and have let go of the nagging issues, he will be more open to you. This is the beginning of a healthy relationship.

Trust is a lesson best learned over time

And the best way to build trust, is to be honest, transparent, and open to your partner. He also will, in turn, develop the same trust, honesty and transparency towards you.

It is possible for couples to be open and disclose all, but sometimes, it’s not necessary. So, it’s not ideal to make an issue where there should be no issue. 

When both you and your partner get to a level of comfort with each other, this phase will seem like another chapter in your relationship you will both laugh about one day in the future.

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Is your man in love with you?

Men are not always too comfortable revealing their true feelings and it can be difficult to figure out how a man really feels about you. Luckily, there are signals that can make deciphering his behaviour a little easier.

Men … not the easiest creatures to read.

As a woman, you no doubt know that men are not always too comfortable revealing their true feelings and it can be difficult to figure out how a man really feels about you.

Luckily, there are signals that can make deciphering his behaviour a little easier.

If your man talks about his future and includes the words 'us' and 'we', it’s a good sign

Many men do whatever they can to avoid questions regarding where a relationship is headed.  If he shares his plans for the future and they involve you, he is thinking ahead and he is probably hoping you’ll be the one beside him.

Does the man in your life love spending time with you?  

A man in love will find any reason he can to spend time with you.  He will want to be with you as much as possible, even if you are doing something totally mundane.  Not only will he want to be with you all the time, he will want to be in contact with you as much as possible too.  

So if he’s crazy about you, expect a lot of emails, text messages and telephone calls, be it to get your opinion on something, to see if you are okay or just to tell you he misses you.

Does your man tell you he’ll take you to dinner then call later and tell you he’s too tired to go or has made plans with his mates?  

If a man is reliable and follows through on plans or promises, he really cares about you.  When it comes to you, he is never too busy.  A man who is serious about you will do what he promises despite how tired he is.

A man in love is interested in your life and in what matters to you

He wants to make your life better for you in any way he can.  He loves talking to you and is always willing to listen to you.  He consults with you first before making a decision.  
If a man appears to be self possessed and you often get the feeling he does not care, then you’re probably right.

Does he remember special dates, like your birthday and anniversary?  

Most men are not too good at remembering dates but he will make an effort to remember dates that are important to you.

Is your man considerate of your feelings, needs and wants?  

Does he do or say things that show that he’s listening to you and is really paying attention to what you like or dislike?  A man who buys poppy seed muffins for you when you’re allergic to poppy seeds is either very forgetful or he’s probably not the man of your dreams. 

A man in love will want to hold your hand or kiss you

Some men are not too keen on public displays of affection but you will notice him reaching for your hand more and more often.  He will also show concern for your wellbeing and he will pamper you if you give him the chance.

Most importantly, your man will respect you

He allows you to express yourself and be who you really are, he does not talk down to you or humiliate you in front of people and he accepts you just the way you are.

When a man is in love, he will listen, make an effort and show you his feelings.  Your man’s behaviour is the real indicator to his feelings.  Actions, as they say, speak louder than words and they also take more effort, thought and planning. 

And finally, as tempting as it may be, do not lie to yourself and think your man will fall in love eventually

A lot of women waste time wishing things would be a certain way what they very clearly are not.  If you are in a relationship that is not going anywhere, then move on! 

You will never find Mr Right if you spend all your time waiting for Mr Wrong to change.

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Emotional Affair: Have You Entered a Danger Zone?

You don't wake up one day and decide to have an affair. You're more likely to gradually enter into the arena of emotional infidelity - and many couples are surprised to discover that this slippery slope begins long before a physical affair is underway.
Why is this? Someone starting an emotional affair often denies or minimizes the significance of what is happening ("It's just innocent flirting" or "We're just friends"). Denial allows the emotional affair to crest long before the implications of the affair are fully realized.

What is an emotional affair?

A sexual affair is easy to identify - you're either having sex with someone other than your spouse/partner, or you're not. An emotional affair isn't always that obvious. For instance, is offering emotional support to a co-worker you find attractive crossing a line? Should you keep your distance from everyone you find charming? Is there such a thing as "innocent" flirting?
Don't allow these shades of grey to obscure the fact that there are clear warning signs that you are journeying down the treacherous path to an emotional affair. Often these signs have as much to do with your behaviour as with your feelings for another person.
Let's turn our attention to these danger zones.

10 Emotional affair danger zones:

1. You go out of your way to repeatedly "run into" this person. We all look forward to seeing people we enjoy - a particular friend or interesting colleague, for instance. If you're honest with yourself, however, you'll know the difference between a truly coincidental meeting and a "coincidence" that occurs because you stood around the office coffee machine for two hours (and you don't even drink coffee).


2. You say things to this person that you wouldn’t if your spouse/partner was standing next to you. This is an important litmus test to determine if the relationship is starting to cross the emotional affair boundary line.


3. You begin confiding in this person. When you confide in someone, you create a more intimate relationship by sharing information about yourself that isn't shared with just anyone. When you take someone into your confidence, you've elevated the relationship to "special" status.


4. The relationship becomes charged with a secretive, forbidden energy. This creates an "us" dynamic that separates the relationship from all others - the relationship is designated as unique because of its secretive nature. This also imbues the relationship with excitement and an element of danger (in direct contrast to the ho-hum energy of your current relationship).


5. When the kindle of an emotional affair is sparked, you begin to anticipate time spent with this person. Looking forward to spending time with someone other than your spouse isn't inherently wrong or dangerous. But when the foundation of an emotional affair is being poured, this anticipation causes you to feel a longing and level of excitement that should only exist in your marriage.


6. You put on your "best face" to impress this person. When you begin to have feelings for another person, you go out of your way to be charming, funny, sympathetic… The best "you" begins to emerge and you deliberately act in ways to enhance your appeal. A side note: These changes usually mirror how you behaved when you first dated your spouse or partner.


7. You begin having problem-discussions with each other - in other words, you start to share your deepest struggles and intimate longings with this person. These conversations create a powerful no-one-else-understands-me-like-you-do bond.


8. He becomes the "go-to person" to share all important news with. While it is human nature to share the events of your life with the people most important to you, once you've entered the gateway of an emotional affair, your spouse/partner becomes less central in your emotional world as your give more of yourself to another person.


9. Before you know it, you can't help comparing the new person to your spouse/partner - and it should be no surprise that your partner fails to make the grade. In your mind's eye (and in the illusion of perfect love), all the differences that stand out for you indicate that this new person will be a superior mate and give you the happiness that has eluded you.


10. You begin lying to your spouse/partner. When your partner asks about your day, you omit any reference to this person (or you go out of your way to minimize his/her significance). This is a clear indication that you have something to hide and is often the first warning sign that an emotional affair is simmering. If you see yourself entering several of the above emotional danger zones, it will be important to hit the pause button on this new relationship before it's too late. The allure of an emotional affair can create the illusion that perfect love exists and is right around the corner - that the only obstacle to real happiness is your current marriage or relationship.


Before you end up risking everything, take a few deep breaths. Then start to take stock of yourself and your marriage/relationship to see what is missing - becoming emotionally involved with someone else is often just another hurdle to the effort and work that committed relationships require.

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