10 fun and wallet-friendly date ideas

Tired of the boring dinner and a movie combo? Revitalise your relationship with these fun date ideas, no bank breaking involved!

So you’ve been together for a while and well, quite frankly, your dates have become more drab than fab! Yes, we know that the economy has taken a turn for the worse and everything is just so expensive (blah blah), but getting stuck in a relationship rut is never fun.

Try these 10 ideas!

1. Be amused

Amusement parks are an excellent option if you are looking for a fun date idea. Unleash your inner child and enjoy a full day’s activity, often for less than the price of a fancy dinner!

This is a date that offers something for everyone, whether you enjoy the thrill of rollercoaster rides, shows or simply exploring, you’re sure to find an activity that suits your tastes. Gold Reef City and Ratanga Junction are excellent homegrown options.

2. Play miniature golf

This fun activity gives couples the opportunity to relax and enjoy the game while keeping some friendly competition alive.

Adventure Golf has options in Durban, Cape Town and Johannesburg, and with three games per ticket redeemable for 12 months, it’s a cost effective option too.

3. Visit a video game arcade

These places are filled with all of the latest video games as well as a few old fashioned ones that will remind you of your youth. Just grab some tokens and stay entertained for hours.

You and your date can either complete directly in two-player games or work as a team in other games.

4. Keep it in the community

If you have planned your all-day date for a Saturday, then you will be able to find plenty of fun things to do. Check out your newspaper for flea markets, garage sales and other community events that cost nothing to attend.

You may even find some really great deals on fun and unusual items. See if there are any concerts or plays at local parks, or take in a fun workshop with activities you both enjoy.

5. Pack a picnic

Take a drive in the country, and find a nice place to go for a leisurely walk through the woods, or along a sandy beach. If you’re closer to the city, a botanical garden offers a wonderful backdrop.

Prepare a fun lunch that you and your date can enjoy on a picnic. Make tasty sandwiches, cupcakes and all kinds of other delicious treats that the two of you can eat just about anywhere. Don’t forget to pack a Frisbee or ball to keep you entertained.

6. Exercise your grey matter

Pub quiz nights allow you a chance to enjoy delicious hearty, well-priced, pub fare while you work with your team to answer as many general knowledge questions as possible, often with hilarious results! Prizes often include drinks and bar tabs – score! Check with your favourite local pub when their quiz night is.

7. Go dancing

Many clubs waive the cover charge if you get there early, so head out for some cocktail sundowners and get ready to dance the night away. FTV Cafes and Café Vacca Matta have excellent finger food menus if you’re feeling a bit peckish.

8. Laugh a little

Participating in an improvisation class can be another fun date idea. Many comedy clubs offer these classes during the day. In the class you will be challenged to participate in several games that force you to think on your feet with hilarious consequences. Alternatively visit a comedy club at night and enjoy a laughter-filled evening.

9. Unleash your inner child

Visiting a local playground is another fun date idea. Many adults haven’t been to a playground since they were children and a nostalgic trip can help you to feel young again. Racing each other up the slide and seeing who can swing higher on the swings are fun ways to keep things lighthearted with your partner.

10. Get sporty

Playing a sport such as tennis or soccer is another fun date idea. Bowling or shooting pool are also good options. The physical activity of this date will draw you and your partner closer together.

You will also enjoy the thrill of competition as each of you strives to win the game. Spice things up and let the winner decide exactly what he/she wants the loser to do!

Yes, it’s important to place a high value on your relationship and treasure your partner, but after having a thousand 5-star dinners, even the most refined palate craves a sandwich! Fancy dinners and trips to the theatre are nice but they don’t really allow the couple just to relax and have fun together, and isn’t that what Date Night is all about?

Read more »

Passionate Heart Relationship Mini Course - DAY 3

A little known secret about creating a great relationship is...

The importance of living by the Platinum Rule instead of the Golden
Rule.

When we were young, most of us were taught the Golden Rule.  

This may surprise you but we think using the Golden Rule as a
guideline for your relationships is a recipe for disaster and here's
why.

The Golden Rule says this: "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto
you."   The problem with the Golden Rule is that we are all unique
individuals and no one else in the entire world is exactly like you.

In relationships, people mistakenly believe that everyone else wants
to do things and live in the same way they do.

No matter how close, how connected and how much you love someone
else, they are not exactly like you. Because they are not exactly
like you, they have different wants, needs and interests--some more
important than others. They also come from a different set of life
experiences, circumstances and what they consider to be important.

The truth of the matter is that other people don't want to be "done
unto"  as you'd like to be "done unto."  

We suggest you honor the Platinum Rule which says, "Do unto others as
they want to be 'done unto.'"

This means that you love them how they really want to be loved.  This
also means that you treat them the way they want to be treated.

To honor this rule, we recommend that you tell your mate, partner or
people in your life how you would like to be "done unto" instead
of allowing guesswork, assumptions and misunderstandings to ruin
relationships.

This involves taking a risk. Perhaps for some people, maybe the
biggest risk of all is working through fears of not being loved if
you say what you really want or how you really feel.

So we suggest that instead of assuming and creating
misunderstandings, both of you communicate your wants, needs and
interests to those in your life. This way, by communicating openly
and honestly, the chances of you and your partner getting what you
each want in your life and your relationships are much greater than
if you don't.

Read more »

FREE Passionate Heart Relationship Mini-Course‏ DAY 2

One of the things the majority of people find the most challenging
about creating a great relationship is...

Not being truthful about sharing their feelings and what is important
to them

Whenever you find that you are feeling something that you haven't
expressed, communicate these things as soon as and as lovingly as you
can. So often people allow small issues to grow into mountains that
end up coming between them. We suggest that you take care of those
issues when they come up and don't allow them to grow.

Here are some ideas for you to consider to help you do that: 

1. Take a moment to find out what you are feeling and what you want.
Find a way to quiet yourself, even if you have to go to the bathroom
to do it. Breathe deeply and find that voice inside yourself that is
telling you how you are feeling.

2. Ask your partner if you can have a few moments of uninterrupted
time to talk together about an issue. Ask if your partner is willing
to just listen while you talk and tell your partner that you agree to
listen while he/she talks. If you both feel safe to talk without
being interrupted, then you will be able to truly hear one another.

3. Say what you want in a way that it can be heard. Always approach
a conversation with how you are feeling because of the issue. If you
start making your partner wrong and accusing him/her, the only thing
you'll accomplish is that one or both of you will either withdraw and
shut down or lash out in anger.

4. Listen and honor who your partner is and what he/she wants. You
may not agree with what your partner says but in order to build the
trust that you want to feel free to say what you need, you also have
to listen with an open heart to him/her without getting defensive. 

5. Stay open and find ways that work for both of you. We've found
that when you begin to understand one another by speaking your truth
and listening to each other, the two of you begin to open the door
for possibilities and much more love. There's a "softer" feeling
between the two of you and solutions to conflicts seem to come more
easily. 

Staying open means not judging the other person and reminding
yourself how you love the other person even if in the moment you are
irritated or disappointed in him/her. Staying open when there's
conflict is probably the toughest thing you have to learn to do.
Even if you take "baby steps" in doing it, you'll see how your
relationship can grow. 

Read more »

4 signs that you're too dependent on your partner

Sharing intimate parts of yourself you would not normally disclose to anyone else is what commitment is all about, but how do you know when you have become emotionally dependent on your partner?

Relationships are about being close.

Emotional dependence can stem from many different experiences in life. Some people grow to depend on their partners after going through several unsuccessful relationships.

Others only allow themselves to become close to very few people, thus coveting the relationships that form as a result. The desire to find the ‘right person’ sometimes overshadows what really exists in any given situation.

Below are some signs that you have become too emotionally dependent on your partner:

Difficulty completing simple tasks on your own 

While it is okay to rely on the help of your partner in certain situations, you should be able to remain independent. Many adults who are in healthy relationships have no trouble going shopping separately, socialising on their own, or even taking part in different activities when at home.

A loss of your own identity is another sure sign of dependency 

A healthy relationship is between two people who haven’t sacrificed their identities to be with one another. That’s part of what makes each relationship unique. Learning how to accept and appreciate each other as well as share in life experiences is what keeps couples together for many years. 

If you are unable to make decisions on your own, you are probably too emotionally dependent on your partner 

Whilst there are many decisions couples should make together, each person in a relationship is faced with various personal decisions that should be made independently. If you are constantly looking to your partner for guidance, you are not relying on your own knowledge and wisdom.

These decisions can range from very simple to quite complex. Either way, decision making is an important part of being independent.

The inability to go through life without a partner can also signify emotional dependency

There are women who always need to be in a relationship, regardless of whether it is a healthy one. Instead of constantly looking for anyone to validate you, search for someone who is compatible with you.

If you are able to be independent in your own life, you will be able to make sound decisions in a relationship. This will make for a strong union because both you and your partner will possess the ability to support each other through various aspects of life.

This makes for an equal, healthy relationship that involves both give and take.

Read more »

FREE Passionate Heart Relationship Mini-Course‏ DAY 1

Today begins the first step. 

Are you ready?

So, let's begin with your first lesson:


Lesson 1
If we could sum up what it takes to make a great relationship with
three simple ideas, here's what they would be...

1. Keep relationship a priority
2. Learn to embrace differences as a good thing and not what you
need to change in someone else
3. Focus on what you like, love, appreciate about the other person
instead of what you don't

There are actually many things that go into creating a great
relationship but these are three ideas that we believe are critical.

*Idea one*

Keep your relationship a priority.

When couples come together, they often spend a lot of time getting to
know one another and having fun together. Then, when children enter
the picture or careers become demanding, their intention to spend
time together gets buried and lost in the busyness of everyday
activities. 

What we are suggesting is to make it your intention to spend time
together, really being together, even if it's to sit and talk alone
for a few moments over coffee.

Make your relationship a priority in your life. Set aside time
everyday to connect with your partner and don't take one moment for
granted.

*Idea Two*

Learn to embrace differences as a good thing and not what you need to
change in someone else.

To truly have a great relationship, there has to be mutual
appreciation of what each person brings to the relationship-and that
even includes the differences that drive us crazy! 

Here are some things we've learned about differences: First, become
aware of your differences and don't assume that your partner thinks
just like you think and his/her priorities are just like yours. Next,
talk about these differences and share what is important to you.
Remember to listen with an open heart and not judge. Just because
someone likes to do something in a little different way than you
doesn't mean it isn't the "right" way. Look at your preconceived
notions about the "right" ways to do things. 

If there are conflicts about the ways in which things are done or
where the priorities are placed, we recommend that you devise a new
way of doing things. Perhaps a third way that might be even better
than the two previous ways of looking at or doing things. Turn your
attention to appreciating each other's gifts instead of holding onto
what you think is the "right way" to do it. 

*Idea Three*

Focus on what you like, love, appreciate about the other person
instead of what you don't.

In many relationships, there is the temptation to take each other for
granted after a number of years or even months of being together.
When that happens, one or both people in the relationship begin to
"pick" at each other and their "faults" seem to magnify.

We're not saying to ignore what needs to be said between the two of
you. What we are saying is to focus on what you want more of in your
relationship instead of what you want less of. Sounds like common
sense but very few people actually do it.

If you are not feeling loved and appreciated yourself, start being
open to seeing and feeling love and appreciation that people are
giving you that you may not be aware of in your daily life. Start
seeing and appreciating what your partner does "right." Take the
time, in your thoughts, words and actions, to be appreciative of the
other person and watch how your relationship blossoms!

Read more »

3 Secrets of Couples Who Stay In Love Forever‏

One thing we've discovered about love, relationships, marriage 
and how to stay in love is... 

Great relationships DO NOT happen by accident... 

In fact, it's true about not only your relationships, but 
everything in life...

A great anything does not happen by accident... 

Take couples who "fall in love" and "stay in love" for example...

What we've found is that "falling in love" and "staying in love" 
are two different things. 

The falling in love is certainly easier than the staying in love, 
but for the couples who somehow manage to do both the 
question is...

How do they do it? 

How do these couples seem to beat the odds and do what 
most couples can't seem to do?

There are several ways that couples keep the fires 
stoked and burning long after the honeymoon period of the
relationship is over. 

We're going to share a few of those secrets with you today...


Secret # 1 

Couples who stay in love seem to actually talk to each other 
differently than couples who are headed for divorce court... 

Not only do these couples talk to each other differently, but 
they also use different words than the rest of us when they 
talk to each other....

They use "magic words" that seem to help open their partner 
instead of shut him or her down--

They use words that keep their partner interested instead 
of bored--

In any relationship, what we've found is that words can 
wound and words can heal. 

We've found that the right words truly can make all the 
difference between whether you stay in love or your relationship 
becomes a divorce or breakup statistic--

That's why we've put together a collection of the best words 
you could ever say to your partner if you want to stay in love 
or even rebuild a love that's faded over time. 


Secret #2

Couples who "fall in love" AND "stay in love" over a long 
period of time "ditch competition." 

We can't tell you how many times we've seen it in our 
Relationship Breakthrough Coaching work with couples...

Couples compete with each other about big and small 
things (even in playful ways) and sit around in amazement 
when the life has been sucked out of their relationship or 
marriage and they are left wondering...

Why? 

The reason is simple: 

In our opinion, there is no room for competition in a 
relationship between couples who are intimate partners 
or married. 

If you doubt whether this is true or not...

Try this...

The next time that you and your intimate partner or spouse 
have a friendly little competition about anything, when 
you are finished, ask yourself one very easy question: 

"Do I feel closer and more connected to him or her or do
I feel distant and more disconnected?" 

We're willing to bet that you'll feel more disconnected if there 
is any kind of competition between the two of you. 

Not one of these people has ever said to us... 

"I feel like we're really on the same team here--we're
splitting up!" 

It just doesn't happen. 

Here's the Susie and Otto rule for this: 

In order to "stay in love," make sure that you and your 
partner or spouse ALWAYS play on the same team. 

The potential challenges, upsets and heartbreak are 
just too great if you don't. 

Secret # 3 

Couples who "fall in love" AND "Stay in Love" remind 
themselves and each other regularly about what they like,
love and appreciate about each other. 

Try this with your partner every so often and notice the 
difference it makes in your relationship. 

Simply say to your partner: 

"Something I really appreciate about you is____________" 

And then fill in the blank with what you like, love or 
appreciate about him or her. 

This alone can sometimes work miracles in a 
relationship or marriage. 

Read more »

Focus on What you Want

No matter what mistakes you feel you 
and your partner have made, challenges you've had or 
problems you've encountered along the way, we hold the 
belief that today is a new day and anything is possible 
from this moment forward. 

Regardless of what has been true up until now about your 
communication challenges, in this moment, you have the 
opportunity to learn to do it differently. 

Whether you're 20, 30, 40, 50 or 80 years old, it's 
never too late to commit to creating ease and flow in 
your communication with other people. 

So, how do you do this? 

Step one is to acknowledge for yourself that there are 
other people who have exactly what you want for your 
life and to adopt the belief that if it's possible for 
someone else, then it's possible for you too. 

Once you begin to believe that yes, other people do 
have what you want and it's also possible for you too, 
then begin focusing on how you want to communicate with 
people and how you want others to communicate with you.

Don't spend time beating yourself up if you fall into 
old patterns that don't serve you or if your 
relationships aren't exactly the way you want them to be. 
It can take time to change lifelong patterns. Simply 
become aware of your pattern, recommit to creating the 
life or relationships that you want--one moment at a time, 
doing your best in each moment. 

If you feel that you must talk to others about your 
disappointments about the way things have been in the 
past, always use the phrase 'up until now..." By using 
the phrase 'up until now...' you are opening your 
heart and mind to possibilities of change within your 
relationships.

Focusing on what you want instead of what you don't 
want in your relationships and in your life does work! 
Shift your thinking and you will see your life 
transform before your eyes.

****************************
1) Remember what you said in the Introduction 
about your communication challenges. Take some time 
now and list those challenges again. Beside each one, 
list some positive ways you are going to focus on 
bringing about change in your life. 





****************************
TIPS for focusing on what you want
1. Write your agreements and how you want your 
communication with others to be on a piece of paper 
and place them where you'll see them several times a 
day as a reminder.

2. Ask for the help of people you trust to make 
those changes as you continue to move toward the love 
and connections that you want with others.

3. If you find your thoughts and actions drifting 
back into old patterns, stop, take three deep breaths, 
shift your thoughts to what you want in life, 
appreciate the other person and recommit to your 
commitments.

Read more »