Monday, April 18, 2011

Communication E-Course--DAY 10‏-Show your Appreciation


Imagine what your life and your relationships would 
be like if everyday was Valentine's Day. 

First of all, we'd all be 300 lbs. from eating 
chocolate hearts and pink cookies. More importantly, 
we'd either be excited by or guilt-tripped into 
expressing our love and appreciation to the people 
in our lives every day.

The question is--why can't it be Valentine's Day 
everyday? 

Why do we need one day a year on which we've all 
agreed that we will express our love and appreciation 
to the people in our lives? 

We suggest that everyday could be a day that you 
express your love and appreciation--whether you have 
a 'significant other' or not. 

We all like to be appreciated. Somewhere deep inside, 
we all know that our lives would be better if we could 
just appreciate the people in our lives, but something 
stops us. Whether it is issues from the past, fear of 
the appreciation not being accepted or reciprocated, or 
simply not taking the time to do it, we often allow 
opportunities to enrich our relationships slip through 
our fingers.

We've found that honest, heartfelt appreciation helps 
to build safety and trust in a relationship and fosters 
good communication between two people.

Coming back to these goals and appreciating what the 
other is bringing to the project always helps us to 
move forward in a positive way. 

Appreciation can soften relationships that are 
experiencing challenges and create ease and flow in 
communication. 

Whenever there are communication challenges in your 
life, try turning your thoughts to appreciating 
something about that person rather than being critical 
of them. Sincere, verbal appreciation adds icing to 
the cake. 

So you might be asking--What do you do if your partner 
is always late, or he/she doesn't do anything that you 
appreciate? What if there isn't anything positive to 
appreciate?

No matter how bad a relationship is, there has to be 
something positive that you can catch the other person 
doing so that you can begin to show your
appreciation. 

We suggest that you look beneath the current situation 
or past unresolved differences. Was there ever a time 
that this person said or did something that you can 
appreciate? If so, start there.


**********************

Now, here are some questions that we'd like you to 
answer that will help you to move to a place of 
appreciation more easily with the people in your 
life:

1. Think of a person who presents communication 
challenges for you. Name three things that this 
person brings to your life and that you can appreciate 
about them.




2. Practice transforming critical thoughts to 
ones of appreciation. Think of something that really 
irritates you about them. Now take a deep breath and 
change that thought to one of the items on your list 
in #1. Keep practicing until it feels natural to 
change your negative thoughts. Remember that by 
doing this, you are not condoning what you perceive 
they have done or are doing to you or other people. 
You are simply flowing positive energy to a situation 
that has been mired in negativity.



3. If it is possible, take an opportunity to tell 
this person, in a sincere and loving way, one of the 
things you wrote in #1. If you were able to do this, 
what was his or her reaction? 




******************

TIPS for appreciating

1)  Practice appreciating the people in your life 
when you are in your car driving, standing in line at 
the grocery store or just before falling asleep. The 
more positive energy you flow out, the more positive 
energy will in turn flow your way.

2) When giving someone a verbal appreciation, 
stop what you are doing, make eye contact with him 
or her, and speak from your heart.

3) Take time to appreciate yourself everyday.

4) Whenever you find yourself irritated with a 
loved one, sit down with a piece of paper and list 
all of the qualities you really love about that 
person. Keep going until your irritation lifts. 
This doesn't mean that you don't need to express 
yourself but you will be coming from a clearer, more 
loving place if you shift your energy.

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